The Two Sons

Parashat Toldot opens with a prayer. Yitzḥak and Rivkah have been married for twenty years with no children, and Yitzḥak prays for his wife. Hashem answers, and Rivkah is expecting twins. But something is wrong. “And the children struggled together within her; and she said, ‘If it be so, why am I thus?’ And she went to inquire of Hashem” (Genesis 25:22).

The answer she hears is not a simple one: “Two nations are in your womb, and two manner of people shall be separated from your bowels” (Genesis 25:23). Two sons, and two very different paths. The midrash says that the boys were already pulling in two directions. When Rivkah walked past a house where Torah was taught, Yaakov kicked to get out. When she walked past a house of idols, Esav kicked to get out (Genesis Rabbah 63:6).

Two boys, two ways

The boys grow up. “And Esav was a skillful hunter, a man of the field; and Yaakov was a plain man, dwelling in tents” (Genesis 25:27). Rashi points out something strange about Esav the hunter. He did not only hunt animals. He also knew how to “hunt” his father with words. He would ask Yitzḥak very pious questions, like “Father, how do we give a tithe of salt and straw?” Salt and straw do not need a tithe at all. But the question made Esav sound very careful about the commandments, and his father believed it (Rashi on Genesis 25:27).

Esav’s mouth said one thing. His life said another. One day he comes in from the field, tired and hungry, and Yaakov is cooking a red lentil stew. Esav wants it now. Yaakov asks for his birthright in exchange, the special place of the firstborn son. And Esav answers, “Behold, I am at the point to die; and what profit shall this birthright do to me?” He eats, he drinks, he gets up and leaves. The Torah sums it up in four words: “Thus Esav despised his birthright” (Genesis 25:32–34).

Many years later, when Yaakov comes to his father dressed as Esav, blind Yitzḥak feels his arms and says, “The voice is Yaakov’s voice, but the hands are the hands of Esav” (Genesis 27:22). That sentence describes a lot of people. They have a holy voice and worldly hands. Their words point one way and their actions go another.

A father, two sons and a vineyard

Yeshua once told a short story that fits our parashah like a glove. He was teaching in the Temple, and the leaders had come to question him. He asked them: “But what think you? A certain man had two sons; and he came to the first, and said, ‘Son, go work today in my vineyard.’ He answered and said, ‘I will not’: but afterward he repented, and went. And he came to the second, and said likewise. And he answered and said, ‘I go, sir’: and went not. Whether of them twain did the will of his father?” (Matthew 21:28–31).

Even his opponents knew the answer: “The first.” The second son had the right words. He even called his father “sir.” But the vineyard never saw him. The first son was rude at the door, but then he thought again, changed his mind and went to work.

Then Yeshua said something that shocked his listeners. “The publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you” (Matthew 21:31). Tax collectors and prostitutes were the people everyone looked down on. But when Yoḥanan the Immerser called Israel to turn back to Hashem, those people listened and changed their lives. Many of the respected leaders said the right things and did not change at all (Matthew 21:32).

Better than “yes”

Does this mean it is good to say “no” to our Father first? Not at all. The best answer is the one Israel gave at Mount Sinai. Moshe read the book of the covenant to the people, “and they said, ‘All that Hashem has said will we do, and be obedient’” (Exodus 24:7). In Hebrew it is na’aseh v’nishma, “we will do, and we will hear.” The Talmud says that when Israel put “we will do” before “we will hear,” Hashem sent angels to crown every one of them (b. Shabbat 88a). They promised to do it, and the doing came first.

The sages loved this lesson. Shammai taught, “Say little and do much” (m. Avot 1:15). Shimon, the son of Rabban Gamliel, taught, “The main thing is not learning, but doing” (m. Avot 1:17). Yeshua said the same: “Not every one that says unto me, Master, Master, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that does the will of my Father who is in heaven” (Matthew 7:21).

At Benei Avraham we do not believe that good deeds buy salvation. Our hope rests in the mercy of Hashem and in Yeshua, the Messiah He sent. But real faith always gets up and goes to the vineyard. A tree is known by its fruit.

It is not too late

Here is the good news hidden in the story. The first son said no, but “afterward he repented, and went.” His first answer was not his last answer. The prophet Ezekiel says the same thing: “But if the wicked will turn from all his sins that he has committed, and keep all My statutes, and do that which is lawful and right, he shall surely live, he shall not die” (Ezekiel 18:21). The sages go even further: “In the place where those who return stand, even the completely righteous cannot stand” (b. Berakhot 34b).

Esav is a warning here too. When he lost the blessing, “he cried with a great and exceedingly bitter cry” (Genesis 27:34). But his tears were for what he had lost, not for what he had done. In the very next breath he planned to kill his brother (Genesis 27:41). The letter to the Hebrews says Esav “found no place of repentance, though he sought it carefully with tears” (Hebrews 12:17). Sorry feelings are not the same as teshuvah. Teshuvah is when the son gets up and goes to work.

Which son are you?

So Parashat Toldot asks us a hard question. Is there something our Father has asked of us, and we said, “I go, sir,” and never went? A promise to pray, to keep Shabbat, to honor our parents, to make peace with someone? Or is there something we said “no” to, and we have been thinking about it ever since?

Either way, the vineyard is still open. The father in the story said, “Go work today.” Not someday. Today. Let your hands match your voice. Say little, do much, and be the son or daughter who went.